


days go by, never to return

by Ushio



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, No Dialogue (almost), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 16:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19044430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ushio/pseuds/Ushio
Summary: Akane and Sigma strike a mutually-beneficial sexual relationship in the wake ofVirtue's Last Reward. It works, somewhat.





	days go by, never to return

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adenniayah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adenniayah/gifts).



> i wrote this for a friend some time ago, and the other day i saw some akanesigma fanart on twitter that gave me the push to publish it. it was originally in spanish and i've translated it to the best of my abilities but it might be rough around the edges; i apologize for that. i hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> title from Mary Oliver's “We Should be Well Prepared” (from _Devotions_ )

There’s plenty of stuff they don’t tell each-other, at first. They don’t say _you’re not Junpei_ or _you’re not Diana_. They don’t say _this is useless._ They don’t say _I love you_ or _I’m glad you’re here_. Because at first, deep down, neither of them is. And neither is cruel enough to throw that in the other’s face.

Their relationship starts as everything has done in Sigma’s life these past few years: because Akane wills it so and because Akane believes it is for the greater good. They have sex because _you’re going to end up crazy, in the end, so lonesome and bored up here. Building up that Diana robot just to speak to her again. Diana_ , a dagger. Her voice, the finishing blow. _Talk to me instead_. With every word, another touch. With every word, the brush of her hands; her mouth. They have sex and then they sleep in bits and fits and then Akane always leaves much too early because she says there’s too much work to be done on Earth. She does not say _I’ve grown tired of you._ She does not say _because this lab is depressing_. She does not say _because you’re not Junpei_. They say nothing at all and still Sigma feels his throat hurt. Hoarse from would-be screaming.

But what could he possibly scream at Akane? What good is talking for?

Sigma does not keep a single pleasant memory from those first few times. He understands Akane’s goal. To distract him, relax him. Help him work faster to ensure the oncoming future. And he understands, too, that Akane is bored and she’d rather use him, make the most of his need, than seek someone on Earth. Sigma doesn’t particularly mind, being used. He doesn’t mind because he is using her as well. But what truly gets him is to see her so sad. So scattered. And to know that she won't tell anyone, that speaking up would only shame her further. During those first few times, he feels like it is _him_ who is making the most of her pain, its transparency, its clarity.

To the eyes of the world, Akane Kurashiki has neither weaknesses nor fears. No one can defeat her. No one can accuse her of having emotional shortcomings or doubts or flaws in her judgement. No one can know she is human. No one but Sigma.

And Sigma knows that it is not him who should possess this knowledge. That he is not the one Akane wants to bare herself for, body and soul.

But time slips away, as it always does, and the both of them get used to their new relationship. Sigma draws some sort of satisfaction in following her bedroom’s orders; in following Akane’s wake in every single area of his life. And he understands from time to time, more frequently now, the reasons for Junpei’s loyalty. The backbone of his fever-stroked devotion. Akane will often bring it up, how _Junpei is searching for me_ as if she could not understand his faithfulness. As if she didn’t want to understand. Sigma does not reply _you’re cruel_ to her no matter how he thinks so. Sigma keeps many things to himself, both out of fear and out of mercy. Because he knows the true reasoning behind her little moon trips. Because he knows the reason for her pulling her arms around him, for her kissing, for her dragging him up to bed with laughter and curls in her hair. He knows the reason why she speaks late at night about Junpei searching for her. He knows why they seek each other and why they pick at old scabs until it bleeds fresh and raw.

“It’s because you’re lonely,” Sigma doesn’t say. “It’s because I’m lonely.”

He gazes at her nape and the brown whirlwind of her hair. Contemplates her naked back and her dagger-sharp shoulder blades; the slope of her jaw, the shape of her ears, the shadows her eyelashes cast and the hint of her mouth. He looks at her figure, as small and sad and lost as he feels at world’s end.

Sigma understands and hushes his heart.


End file.
